Exploring Sexuality for Couples
Ground Rules
Before beginning to explore
fantasies, lifestyles or any other
form of sexual exploration with your
partner it is important to set-forth
a few ground rules. It is important
for you and your partner to have a
clear agreement on the rules and
boundaries as well as the
communication needed to make sexual
exploration fun without damaging the
relationship. When you open the
doors to sexual alternatives through
conversations you can learn a lot
about each other. Be sure you both
are ready as some doors that are
opened are very hard or impossible
to close. Once you decide for sure
that you would like to explore
erotic options talk it over with
your partner and agree it is
something you would both like to do.
The
Rules
1.
Talk, Talk, Talk-
Devote some time to exploring things
that turn you and your partner on by
sharing what you already know you
want and doing research. You can
read erotic books, explore sexuality
websites or watch movies together.
Be sure to talk about what your
ideas as well as your partners
ideas. Before introducing something
into your sex life it is imperative
that you understand each others
likes and dislikes.
2.
Establish Boundaries-
After you and your partner have
agreed to progress with your
fantasies, alternate lifestyles,
experimentation, etc. be sure you
both are clear on your boundaries.
Make it clear which things can be
explored and which things are
off-limits. It is important to
always observe and obey these
boundaries. During sex or play time
if you want to dip a bit deeper,
that is fine, after sex is over then
you can go back to rule 1.
Talk, Talk, Talk and reset
boundaries if both are in agreement.
Do not introduce surprises without
agreement with your partner.
3.
Secret Word/Phrase/Sign-
Establish a safe word/phrase/sign
with your partner that you can
whisper or communicate. Once this
communication is said or displayed
your partner knows that you are not
liking the direction that the act is
going and should be stopped
immediately. This is the failure
system that will allow each to
communicate in a discreet way. Never
punish or argue with your partner
about communication this default
safety. Rather once you and your
partner get time to talk go back to
rule 1.
4.
Post Communication-
After the act is over take time to
talk with each other and discuss
what each other liked, disliked and
is a good time to discuss rule and
boundaries for future sexual
exploration.
Once you have your ground
rules established begin to explore
your sexuality as a couple.
Exploration may include fantasies
and other alternate forms of sex.
There is nothing wrong with sexual
experimentation providing that you
and your partner agree and enjoy.
Always assure and re-assure your
partner of your love and commitment
to them.
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